This was not intended to be a self portrait series but I did not have a model at this moment so I had to put myself in front of the camera. This was my first ever self portraits and and consequently, they carry a raw vulnerability. I wanted to show a part of me that true to myself but also visually intriguing. I choose flowers to be my props because flowers are delicate and fragile, dead flowers are even more poetic. Reflecting on myself through the metaphor of flowers, I don’t see myself as a blooming blossom or one on the brink of blossoming. Instead, I identify more with a dried, withered flower—still possessing beauty, but in a more rugged and weathered manner. And to feel the beauty or value of a dead dried up flower, you need to have a different mindset than when you appreciate fresh flowers. In portraying myself as a human adorned with dead flowers sprouting from within, I aimed to expose the intricacy of my inner space. Through my poses, I hope to convey the pain, the ease and the peace that accompany a soul weathered by life’s trials.
All photo was taken on 35mm Ilford Delta 100 film. Darkroom printed and scanned digitally by me.
film sequence 